The Kleenex: Library closed to students, party starts
Item
Title
The Kleenex: Library closed to students, party starts
Description
An article by "Zoowap Mmmbop" in the April 1, 2009 edition of The Kleenex, "the unofficial jokester pape[r] of Loyola University Chicago," published annually on April Fool's Day.
The satirical article claims that "In an effort to increase funding and maintain its literary panache, Cudahy Library is restricting all student access to its popular quiet study room and will begin offering daily tours to tourists effective Monday, according to Loyola library directors."
A photo features a cute child in a purple costume, with the caption: "I am the cute one -- The cutest kid ever tours the library."
The article continues, saying that the study room now boasts "a photo booth, souvenir shop and Dippin' Dots ice cream cart for wanting tourists."
"'The current economic crisis is no joke to us; we needed to reconsider our target audience,' said John Middleberry, Ph. D., director of Cudahy Library, as he checked admission tickets and reminded tour-goers to check out the clearance rack at the souvenir shop.
'The days were numbered for those good for nothin' freeloading kids, with their Kindle 2s and BookFace, it was time to take a stand against them,' said Middleberry."
The article goes on to include a surprised reaction from an English major and a classical studies major's threat to proclaim an "all-out takeover of the study space."
The satirical article claims that "In an effort to increase funding and maintain its literary panache, Cudahy Library is restricting all student access to its popular quiet study room and will begin offering daily tours to tourists effective Monday, according to Loyola library directors."
A photo features a cute child in a purple costume, with the caption: "I am the cute one -- The cutest kid ever tours the library."
The article continues, saying that the study room now boasts "a photo booth, souvenir shop and Dippin' Dots ice cream cart for wanting tourists."
"'The current economic crisis is no joke to us; we needed to reconsider our target audience,' said John Middleberry, Ph. D., director of Cudahy Library, as he checked admission tickets and reminded tour-goers to check out the clearance rack at the souvenir shop.
'The days were numbered for those good for nothin' freeloading kids, with their Kindle 2s and BookFace, it was time to take a stand against them,' said Middleberry."
The article goes on to include a surprised reaction from an English major and a classical studies major's threat to proclaim an "all-out takeover of the study space."
Date, date span, or circa acceptable
2009-04-01
File name
The Kleenex, 2009-04-01, p1, Library closed to students, party starts
Sources archive, University Archives and Special Collections or Women and Leadership Archives
University Archives and Special Collections
Source
University Archives and Special Collections, The Kleenex, 2009-04-01, p1, Library closed to students, party starts
Subject
Loyola University Chicago
Rights
Contact the Loyola University Chicago Archives and Special Collections, archive@luc.edu, for permission to copy or publish.
